


Sandy's Delivery Service

by TheGirlWithThe555



Series: Alternate Worlds(TNLoM) [1]
Category: The New Legends of Monkey (TV)
Genre: A boss lady, A girl with a secret, Adult Situations, Alternate Universe, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Competition, Dark Comedy, Demons and gods still exist, Eventual Romance, F/M, Font and Monkey are best friends, Friend feud, Gangsta, God abilities, Guns, Inspired by Zutter - top and gd, Jealousy, Martial Arts, Modern Era, Never upset the guy who makes your food, Possible poly ship? Not sure yet, Romance, Swag, Two delivery boys with a shady past, Video Game-esque, Violence, demonic abilities, restaurant, self aware characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:26:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithThe555/pseuds/TheGirlWithThe555
Summary: In a modern world where demons and gods exist, Font and Monkey were your not-so-average delivery boys. Working at Sandy's restaurant should have been easy, but when you have a dark past and many enemies, it makes that kind of difficult.Monkey is worried he won't be a main character, but when he and Font become main characters, where will the story follow them to?
Relationships: Pigsy/Sandy (The New Legends of Monkey), Possible Tripitaka/Font, Possibly Monkey/Tripitaka
Series: Alternate Worlds(TNLoM) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127774
Comments: 12
Kudos: 1





	Sandy's Delivery Service

**Author's Note:**

> If your wondering what I mean by video game-esque, I was pretty inspired by the introduction cut scenes in borderlands. Lmao.

They were in trouble. Again. Both men were tied to chairs, tightly, unable to move. How these things came to happen, well they weren't really sure. They surely had enemies though. They could hear some man going on about some ultimately powerful scrolls in the next room, but that was the last thing on their minds.

"How much longer?" Monkey asked.  
"Fifteen minutes," Font muttered. Monkey huffed a sigh. This wasn't good they needed to get out of here.

"So boys," the man had finally finished talking with whoever about some scrolls to walk out to greet them.  
"Let's get straight to business. Where is my money?" He questioned. Font and Monkey traded looks.

"Don't have it, never did," Monkey stated. The demon in front of them came forward to pop him in the nose with his fist.  
"You want to play with me? I can end your fucking miserable, pathetic life right now!" He pulled a gun from behind his back and held it to Monkey's head.

"Okay, we'll tell you," Font muttered. The demon pulled the gun back and stared at him, waiting for him to go on.  
"Up your ass!" He let out. Monkey chuckled at the antic. The demon had really thought he'd been serious. He pointed the gun at Font.

"Listen here asshole, I only need one of you to—,"  
"Actually, we both know half of the passcode for the safe, so you need us both," Font muttered matter of factly. The demon glared at him and cocked his gun.

"Not to mention how rude it is to tie up your guests," Font added sarcastically.  
"Yeah, you could probably get better results if we sat down for tea and talked about this like adults," Monkey added.

"Okay, I've had about enough of this!" The demon pressed the tip of the gun to Font's head.  
"Is this what you want!? You want me to blow your fucking brains out right here!?" He let out.  
"Relax Davari, you're being a fuckin' psycho," Monkey complained.

"Shut up! I'm not talking to you!" Davari yelled at Monkey before looking back at Font.  
"You wanna die, pretty boy?" He muttered.  
"I'm the pretty boy," Monkey muttered, insulted at the lack of attention he was getting.

"I don't want anything. Would be a shame for you to stain my nice clothes though. This jacket cost me five hundred dollars," Font smirked. Davari only seemed angered by it more.  
"Okay, no more games!" He lowered the gun to his stomach and pressed the trigger.

"Agh! Fuck!" Font let out. The noise had been louder than they had suspected and blood oozed from the small hole that the scrap of metal had created.

"What the fuck, Davari!? You fucking idiot! I can't believe you actually did it!" Monkey was outraged.  
"Oh, don't worry you worthless piece of shit, your next," Davari unloaded the clip, the empty casings falling to the ground before he began to reload it and then he cocked it and pointed it at Monkey.

"Hello?" A voice sounded from the next room. Davari looked confused for a moment. Who could be here? Right now? He had no other appointments. He shoved his gun into his waistline.

"Stay quiet!" He muttered before leaving. Monkey smirked but then looked at Font and frowned.  
"You okay?" He asked. Font glared at him.  
"Shut up," he muttered.

They couldn't hear what was going on for a good moment but then they heard a gunshot.  
"Fuck! God damnit!" Davari's voice sounded and then there was another gunshot.  
"Ha, you Idiot, shoot yourself in the dick, why don't you? You're dead now anyway..." Some feminine voice sounded, making both men's faces break out in relief and Monkey chuckled at the thought of what she said.

"You called?" A voice questioned as someone came into the room. Her hair was a white-gray, styled into luscious curls reaching the end of her neck. She wore a white ruffle blouse and a black pencil skirt, her booted heels clacked against the floor. As she walked towards them, the frame freezed and her name popped out in big, bold letters:

'Sandy,  
Boss Lady,  
Also a Badass,'

As the letters framed her body, she struck a pose and her hair seemed to be blown back as if a fan was turned towards her, and then it faded and things went back to normal.

"That was weird," Monkey muttered.  
"Yeah, what the hell just happened?" Font wondered. Sandy smirked.  
"Obviously I've been introduced into the story," Sandy stated.

"Wait, what story?? We weren't introduced, were we?" He gave Font a questioning look but the demon shrugged.  
"Whatever, it doesn't matter. Neither of you should have noticed anyway, so it was just a glitch," Sandy explained.

"I still don't get it, how do you even know this?" He was still confused. Sandy smirked.  
"Maybe your both fucked up on drugs and drink?" She wondered. How could she explain such a thing to them? Monkey shook his head.

"We haven't had anything for two days, speaking of which, we should get some food. You down Monkey?" Font asked. Monkey nodded his head several times.  
"I'm starving," Monkey answered.  
"Well let me untie you first," Sandy said as she went over to them.

"You two," she muttered as she began unknotting the ropes  
"Always getting into trouble," she added. Monkey frowned at her.

"We were really trying to be good this time!" Monkey let out. Sandy gave him an unbelieving look and then turned her eyes to Font.  
"And you?" She asked. He shrugged.  
"We don't make trouble. Trouble finds us," he grumbled.

Sandy was examining his wound.  
"Went straight through, that's good at least. Already healing too," she muttered. Font nodded. One of his many abilities was fast healing.  
"Well, let's get back to the restaurant," Sandy stated.

"Stop at our place Boss Lady?" Monkey asked. Sandy gave him a questioning look.  
"Font's clothes?" He answered. She nodded and Font smirked.  
"Yeah, can't exactly walk into your nice restaurant with blood all over me," he remarked. Sandy smirked back at him.  
"No, that wouldn't do at all."

_Sandy's Delivery Service_

The restaurant was nice. As always. Sandy ran a tight ship when it came to her business.  
"Pigsy in?" Monkey asked as soon as they came in. Sandy eyed him.

"Never misses a day of work," she answered.  
"Ah, welcome back Ms. Sandy. Are your guests here to eat?" A server lady asked at the front desk. Sandy smirked at her.

"Oh, new person?" Font asked.  
"She's always so polite. Monica's reference of her came highly recommended," Sandy explained.  
"Yeah she seems lovely enough," Monkey muttered as he stared thoroughly at the new staff member. The girl smiled a most awkward smile.

"Well, I um... I'm just doing my job," she stated.  
"Manners! You idiots! Don't you dare ruin this fine lady, isn't she adorable!" Sandy smirked at the girl. The new staff member was obliviously cute yet also headstrong, the perfect person to greet and serve guests.

"When I ask her to push the special of the day paired with a nice wine, well, business has been booming," Sandy praised. The girl laughed uneasily.  
"Well, yeah, you tell me to recommend it so I do," the girl muttered. Monkey cleared his throat and grabbed her hand. She gave him an uneasy look. He brought the back of her hand to his lips and laid the chastest of kisses.

"I am Monkey, it is a pleasure to meet you," he said in his most charming tone. Sandy thwacked him over the head.  
"Stay away you dog!" She let out. Monkey pouted at her.

"You said to be polite," he complained.  
"I said to be polite, not to drool all over her hand!" Sandy scolded him. Font rolled his eyes.  
"You got a name?" He asked. Monkey stopped bickering to look at her, he should have thought to ask. Sandy looked completely unamused.

"I'm... Tripitaka," she muttered, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.  
She took on a nervous, yet cute pose as the room grew hazy and a spotlight seemed to come down on her.

'Tripitaka,  
Greeting Server,  
A Girl with a Secret'

The atmosphere of the room lightened and things went back to as they were.  
"It happened again," Monkey muttered.  
"What's the secret?" Font asked as he looked her up and down. Tripitaka seemed mortified for a moment.

"Hey! That is for the audience, not you! How did you even see it!?" Tripitaka questioned. Font and Monkey traded looks.  
"Did we have one for you?" Monkey asked quickly, sounding hopeful. Tripitaka frowned at him.

"No, not at all," Tripitaka stated. Monkey frowned and Font gazed at her with curious eyes.  
"What does it mean though?" Monkey asked. It was driving him crazy. Sandy sighed.  
"Monkey, if you don't get one, then you don't want to know," she muttered. Monkey sulked, but Font turned his questioning glance to her.

"What do you know?" He asked her. She frowned.  
"It means you're a main character," she stated. Monkey frowned further.  
"A main character? Are you saying that I'm not a main character!?" He asked. Sandy shrugged.

"I don't know, did it come up when you were introduced?" She asked. Monkey shook his head no. Sandy looked to gauge Font's reaction. He gave her a blank look.

"Don't worry about it, okay Monkey?" She told him. Monkey frowned and shook his head.  
"You know what, I'll just go hang out with Pigsy, give you two 'main characters' some privacy," Monkey muttered as he stormed off. Sandy sighed at Font.

"Monkey and his feelings, am I right?" She asked him. He glared at her before trudging off after Monkey.

"Well hey! Be sure to check the orders on your phone!" Sandy called out. Tripitaka gazed at her.  
"Orders?" She asked.  
"For deliveries," Sandy responded.

S _andy's Delivery Service_

Monkey stomped to the kitchen area in the restaurant, Font soon behind him and speeding up to be at his side.  
"Such bullshit. How can I not be a main character?" Monkey questioned. Font shrugged.  
"How are you not more upset?" Monkey asked. Font shrugged again.

"If we're not main characters then what are we?  
Secondary characters!?" Monkey snapped.  
"Dude, chill," Font muttered.  
"Why would I want to be a main character? The story following your mistakes and your screwups, making you look like shit and half the time the endings are all stupid and happily ever end, you think there's a happily ever end for us Monkey!?" Font let out. Monkey frowned and gazed down.

"But we're badasses. Like we're ripped, we have good hair, we bring the action..." He said as they finally came to the door and he pressed it open before Font could answer. As soon as he opened the door, there Pigsy was, chopping fillets out of fish. The room dimmed as his knife came down.

'Pigsy,  
Five-Star Chef  
Never Piss Off the Guy Who Makes Your Food."

"Hey guys," Pigsy said as soon as his short cutscene was over. Monkey threw his arms up  
"Seriously!? Seriously? Come on! Fuck this..." He turned around and stormed out.  
"What's the matter with him?" Pigsy turned to Font.

"He wants to be a star," Font shrugged as he said it before turning around to go after his friend yet again. Pigsy narrowed his eyes.

"A star? What does that even mean?" He wondered as he turned back to chopping. A moment passed by.  
"Like a star from space? Those two are so weird," he muttered to himself.

_Sandy's Delivery Service_

"I just don't even get why it bothers you so much," Font muttered. Monkey huffed a sigh.  
"Look at me! For real, looook at meeee!" Monkey did a 360 as he said it.

"How can this body and these abs not make me a main character?" He asked. Font chuckled.  
"Monkey, we're just two delivery boys caught up in this fucked up world, our pasts riddled with enemies that want us dead, you think that makes for a good story even?" Font asked. Monkey pouted.

"Yeah, yeah I do. The story should be about us, not them," he admitted.  
"So what if we're just delivery boys. I feel like we're going to do something big, I just don't know what yet," Monkey added.  
"Monkey even if we're not main characters, we got each other. Is that what you want to hear, you idiot? You're being ridiculous. Let's just go to the bar and then play video games after like normal, forget this whole main character business," Font stated. Monkey frowned but nodded.

"Fine. Let's go. Let's get some food first, I just don't even want to go back in there," monkey pointed to the restaurant behind them.  
"Next thing you know some stupid customer will be a main character," he complained. Font gave him a stern look.  
"Okay, okay. I'm forgetting it, oh, look, forgotten already," Monkey stated. Font nodded as he stood up and Monkey stood up by him.

The light outside dimmed and a red light seemed to shine on Monkey and a blue one on Font. Their hair swept back as if being fanned and they both stepped forward with the swag of a million. Font's long white jacket swayed back and forth and Monkey pulled his fur coat on a little tighter and pulled red-tinted sunglasses from his pocket that he slipped on. For two delivery boys, they had high amounts of confidence that came through in their composure.

'Font and Monkey,  
Coworkers,  
Two Delivery Boys,  
A Demon and God Who Became Best Friends.'

"We... We have four things! Everyone else only had three!" Monkey exclaimed excitedly.  
"Great. Whatever. Let's go be boring. Write that dumb story, you stupid writer!" Font let out, sounding annoyed. Monkey danced around him though.

"Ha, I knew we'd be main characters!" Monkey let out.  
"You seem happy now, but main characters get tortured Monkey. Just you wait. The story will make our lives more hell than they already are," Font stated. Monkey shook his head.  
"No, we got this. We're gonna show the world just how badass we are!" Monkey pumped his fist into the air. Font rolled his eyes at his enthusiasm. He didn't say anymore on the subject.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh. So. I had to write this. My brain kept yelling at me to write this. If your wondering, why, god why? Well, I got zutter by gd and top stuck in my head and watched the video so much and it got to the point where I started watching live versions on YouTube. Lmao. 
> 
> So I'm going for it. My brain also keeps yelling at me to write a poly ship. Idk if I'm gonna do that in this yet, but I might. For now they are both going to compete with each other a bit though.
> 
> I was also inspired by borderlands and cheesy kung fu mobster flicks. Like... I gotta do this. Lmao.


End file.
